Hot Fuzz Movie Quotes
Danny Butterman: What do you think?
Nicholas Angel: Well, I wouldn’t argue that it wasn’t a no holds barred, adrenaline fueled thrill ride. But, there is no way you can perpetrate that amount of carnage and mayhem and not incur a considerable amount of paperwork.
Danny Butterman: That is nothing man, this is about to go off!
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DS Andy Wainwright: You do know there are more guns in the country than there are in the city.
DS Andy Cartwright: Everyone and their mums is packin’ round here!
Nicholas Angel: Like who?
DS Andy Wainwright: Farmers.
Nicholas Angel: Who else?
DS Andy Cartwright: Farmers’ mums.
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Nicholas Angel: Oy! When’s your birthday?
Underage Drinker #1: 22nd of February.
Nicholas Angel: What year?
Underage Drinker #1: Every year!
Nicholas Angel: Get out!
Nicholas Angel: When’s your birthday?
Underage Drinker #2: 8th of May… 1969…
Nicholas Angel: You’re 37?
Underage Drinker #2: Yeah!
Nicholas Angel: Get out!
Nicholas Angel: When’s your birthday?
Underage Drinker #3: Uhhhh…
Nicholas Angel: Out!
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Nicholas Angel: In the meantime, why don’t you check out a few of Martin Blower’s clients?
DS Andy Wainwright: Martin Blower represents damn near most of the village. Do you want us to go through the whole phone book?
DS Andy Cartwright: Yeah, we’ll put a call in to Aaron A. Aaronson, shall we?
Nicholas Angel: Please, don’t be childish. At least consider interviewing the widow. Martin Blower was clearly having an affair with Eve Draper.
DS Andy Wainwright: Ohh, and how did you establish that?
Danny Butterman: ‘Cause we sat through three hours of so-called acting last night, and the kiss was the only convincing moment in it.
DS Andy Wainwright: All right, pipe down, biggun’.
DS Andy Cartwright: Here, what else you got, Crockett and Tubby?
Nicholas Angel: Skid marks.
DS Andy Wainwright: Now who’s being childish?
Nicholas Angel: There were no skid marks at the scene! Doesn’t it seem a little strange that Martin Blower would lose control of his car and not think to apply the brakes?
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Danny Butterman: Point Break or Bad Boys II?
Nicholas Angel: Which one do you think I’ll prefer?
Danny Butterman: No, I mean which one do you wanna watch first?
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Danny Butterman: What’s it like being stabbed?
Nicholas Angel: It was the single most painful experience of my life
Danny Butterman: What’s the second most painful?
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Narrator: Police Constable Nicholas Angel: born and schooled in London, graduated Canterbury University in 1993 with a double first in Politics and Sociology. Attended Hendon College of Police Training and displayed great aptitude in field exercises, notably Urban Pacification and Riot Control. Academically excelled in theoretical course work and final year examinations. Received a Baton of Honor, graduated with distinction into the Metropolitan Police Service and quickly established an effectiveness and popularity within the community. Proceeded to improve skill base with courses in advanced driving and advanced cycling. He became heavily involved in a number of extra-vocational activities and to this day, he holds the Met record for the hundred meter dash. In 2001, he began active duty with the renowned SO19 Armed Response Unit and received a Bravery Award for efforts in the resolution of Operation Crackdown. In the last twelve months, he has received nine special commendations, achieved highest arrest record for any officer in the Met and sustained three injuries in the line of duty, most recently in December when wounded by a man dressed as Father Christmas.
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Danny Butterman: So what made you want to become a policeman?
Nicholas Angel: Officer.
Danny Butterman: What made you want to become a policeman officer?
Nicholas Angel: I can’t remember a time when I didn’t want to be a police officer, apart from the summer of 1979 when I wanted to be Kermit the frog. It all started with my Uncle Derek. He was a Sergeant in the Met. He bought me a police medal car when I was five. I rode around in it every second I was awake - arresting kids twice my size for things like littering and spitting. I got beaten up a lot when I was young, but it didn’t stop me. I wanted to be like Uncle Derek.
Danny Butterman: He sounds like a good bloke.
Nicholas Angel: Actually he was arrested for selling drugs to students.
Danny Butterman: What a cunt.
Nicholas Angel: Probably bought the pedal car with the proceeds. Naturally, I never went near it again. I just left it there in the yard to gather rust. But I never lost the profound sense of right and wrong I felt behind the wheel of that pedal car. And I always wanted to be a police officer, from that moment on.
Danny Butterman: Oh. Shame really…
Nicholas Angel: How so?
Danny Butterman: I think you would have made a great Muppet…
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